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26 June 2011 @ 09:00 pm
035: 알까요 이런 내 마음을? (do you know this heart of mine?) [4/14]  

All of these chapters from this update (and this whole fic, really) is dedicated to the amazing, wonderful, and all-around LOVELY blindteddy , whose birthday has just passed recently and whose work at 2min_aday  is both inspiring to me personally AND is what makes me feel extra-proud to be a part-time mod there myself. 

Jun, I hope you enjoy this belated bday present/dedication...your Taeminnnie loves you lots!! ;w;)/  ♥♥♥
Oh, and I left you comment spots so you could have the very first comment on all these chapters, ok?  Hope that helps~


IV. 알고있죠, 그댄 내 맘 모르죠.
[ You know, you don’t know my heart. ]

After Minho came back from Canada, the rest of December’s schedule kicked into full swing, with a slew of award show appearances and enough performances to make anyone’s head spin.

The five of them were a little too used to it—rushing around in the early morning to get ready for a long day of interviews, recordings, and work—but it still made them unbearably tired sometimes. Whenever and wherever they could manage it, they slept. Naps in between car rides to and from the salons or the studios weren’t long, but they would have to do. It was certainly better than the two or three hours of sleep in total they got the night before.

It was definitely better than nothing.

Their schedules had been so filled up this year that their usual midnight Christmas celebration together (which usually lasted long into the early morning, depending on how tired they were and how much sugar the youngest and the oldest consumed) ended up pushed aside in favor of live broadcasts, family dinners, and hometown visits. So after the New Year came and went—bringing a revised but still hectic schedule for January along with it—Taemin was glad to spend the day with Jinki while the other three were out busy recording.

But when the cab they took brought them to the front of the SM building, Taemin started to wonder if today was really a free day, after all.

“Don’t worry.” Jinki must have noticed his expression and turned back to Taemin, flashing an easy smile. “We’re just stopping off. You said you wanted to go to the shopping mall, right?” It was Taemin’s turn to nod. “We’ll go after this. I just wanted to say hi to someone before we go.”

They went straight inside to the elevator after that, riding up to the fourth floor where the personal practice rooms were. A few trainees greeted them as they passed, but all the while, Taemin wondered why they came here. He knew for a fact that Yunho-sunbaenim and Changmin-sunbaenim wouldn’t be here (they were overseas) and their Super Junior hyung-deul weren’t there either (they were out promoting their new song).

So who would be here on the first day after the New Year’s celebrations had ended? Maybe the staff and a few of the company executives would be here, but that was—

“…Sunbae! You’re here, you’re here…!”

Taemin turned just in time to see a blur of blue, black, and red come out running down the hallway and leap headlong into Jinki’s arms. The older boy was completely unprepared for it, barely catching the other person in time, wobbling unsteadily on shaky legs as he gently let them down on the floor again.

As soon as he did, the jacket hood to Jinki’s mystery accoster slipped and revealed their identity.

“Ahhh, Luna-sshi—“

“No, no, just Luna, Taeminnie!” Sunyoung chastised him with a small pout, brushing dark flyaway strands away from her face. “We’ve met before and we’re only a month apart, so no need to be formal with me.”

“Sunyoung-ah!” Jinki sighed, giving her a stern look. Taemin’s gaze wandered from the exasperated Jinki to the unruffled Sunyoung and he felt himself smile. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought the two of them were a pair of lovers, quarreling over a serious disagreement. “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t like being jumped on?”

“You never told me that before, oppa!” Sunyoung chirped, effervescent as ever. Taemin snorted under his breath, covering his mouth with his fist. “Besides, last time you said I could call you anytime I wanted!”

“I said you could call me anytime, Sunyoung-ah.” Jinki seemed ready to relent now, patting the girl on the head as if she were a small puppy looking for attention. “But isn’t this f(x)’s holiday, too? I’m surprised you weren’t busy doing other things today.”

“Unnie-deul were all busy today.” Sunyoung’s smile wilted a bit at this remark, and Jinki winced in response. “That’s why I called. I was hoping you weren’t busy so we could maybe go out to karaoke again—”

“Again?” Taemin grinned, turning to Jinki just in time to see his face turn a brilliant shade of red. “You mean all those times you told Jonghyun-hyung you went out for karaoke with your friends, it was just you and Luna?”

“N-No! No, no, no; I-I can explain—!”

“Jonghyun-oppa’s nosy, that’s why.” Sunyoung interrupted the older boy’s stammering, wrinkling her nose in playful distaste before just as quickly looking up at Jinki with an apologetic smile. “We wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea and tell everybody we’re a couple when we’re not, right?”

“M-More importantly…Taemin-ah, don’t tell anyone else about this, please?” Jinki spoke with a plaintive hitch to his voice, a sure sign that he had all but given up his leader persona at this point. “Not even Minho, okay?”

“I won’t tell,” Taemin promised them with a sage nod, chuckling a bit. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

(He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t tell Minho, though – because if there was anyone who had been suspicious since the leader and the younger girl were spotted talking backstage at Dream Concert and who definitely needed to hear about this, it was Minho.)

It was nice to stand back and watch Sunyoung and Jinki talk after that, though.

Out of all the f(x) members, Taemin liked her the most. They were close in age, but that wasn’t the only reason why. It was because Sunyoung was genuinely and wholeheartedly nice, the kind of nice that made the worst of people try to take advantage of her and the loneliest of people want desperately to be her friend. She treated Taemin a lot like Jinki did, less like a dongsaeng and more like an old friend. She was a lot like Jinki in personality, too, especially in the way she could suddenly turn playful when something prompted that side of her.

It made him wonder about something, though.

“Hyung,” Taemin asked, once he and Jinki had finally reached their original destination (the shopping mall) and were sitting at a quiet booth in a corner of the food court, “what do you think love is?”

Jinki nearly choked on his drink, coughing for a good ten seconds before gasping out his hoarse retort.

“W-Where did that come from?”

“I’m just wondering.” Taemin frowned, not sure why he was even disgruntled by Jinki’s reaction. “Since you and Luna are so close ‘n all…I just figured you’d have a better idea than me…”

The leader stopped in mid-protest (to the part about his closeness with Sunyoung, most likely) hearing Taemin’s last whisper of a remark and smiled. Weird. He hadn’t been expecting that reaction, either.

He wanted answers, not more questions. Taemin pouted, hoping he could win over his hyung with a bit of cuteness – but Jinki remained impassive, leaning back in his chair, gentle eyes sparkling with sudden mirth.

“I wonder, too.” The older boy tipped forward again, steadying himself with a surprising amount of grace. “When you fall in love, how do you know it’s love for sure? Is that what you’re asking?”

“…I guess so.” Taemin at last replied, after a moment’s hesitation. “I mean, I’m not even sure if it’s love or not, but—”

“Love,” Jinki exhaled, “isn’t an easy thing to figure out. Just like there are different kinds of people, there are different kinds of love, too. We’re talking about romantic love, though, right – not the kind of love you have for your family or your friends?” Taemin nodded slowly, hoping Jinki couldn’t tell how anxious he was to hear the rest. “Then I guess I can give you a bit of advice…”

“Honestly…I’ve been in love before. To someone…close to me.” Interest piqued, Taemin leaned forward, wondering why Jinki was using the past tense. “It didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to, but I learned a lot. About love, about people…about friendship.”

Oh.

“You mean Key-umma?” Jinki’s head snapped forward so quickly that Taemin was sure he would get whiplash. The reaction wasn’t surprising in and of itself, though. “Everybody but Key-umma pretty much knew you had a crush on him, hyung.”

“I guess Minho must have told you, huh?” Jinki sighed, expression resigned as he slunk back into his chair. But Taemin shook his head, surprising the older boy. “Then, how did you…?”

“It was really obvious.” Taemin said truthfully, but he felt a wave of sympathy hit him from the look on Jinki’s face. “I’m sorry, hyung…”

He always had his theories about Jinki and Kibum, but he didn’t really expect to have them confirmed so easily. Still, the longing looks, the lingering touches, and the overt concern for the headstrong diva of the group – Taemin knew that Jinki didn’t treat everyone like that, so he always had his suspicions about the leader’s feelings for Kibum. Jinki was always generous when it came to the members, but Kibum never even had to ask for a seat or a drink; before he even said a word, Jinki had already brought it for him, as if he were able to read Kibum’s mind before his request was voiced.

Kibum never spoke a word about it to Taemin, but Jonghyun had dropped hints to the maknae about how awkward he felt showing intimacy with Jinki around. Now Taemin knew it wasn’t just because of Jinki’s father-like tendencies.

“It’s okay.” Despite the hurt in his eyes, Jinki’s smile was as bright as ever. “Like I told Minho that time, I’m mostly over it now. And the two of them…Jonghyunnie and Kibummie…they’re happy together.” Then, a touch softer: “I’d be a horrible person for ever trying to compromise that.”

I know you wouldn’t, Taemin bit his lower lip at the realization, hands clenched tight in his lap. You’re always trying to make other people happy, hyung…I know that. That’s how you are.

But still. Compromising your own happiness for the sake of someone else’s? The thought of it alone made Taemin’s heart ache. Maybe that made him the selfish one, but if there was something that Taemin wanted badly enough to go after, he would do it.

Even if it meant that he was wrong, he would be willing to take that risk. Especially when it came to the matter of love.

“If Jonghyun-hyung ever broke his heart,” Taemin spoke looking down at his lap, not daring to look up at Jinki’s sad eyes again, “would you step in then? I mean…do you still love Key-umma that much?”

Jinki sighed, the look on his face already answer enough for Taemin.

“Let’s go home.” Taemin stared at Jinki, who was already picking up his tray as well as Taemin’s. “You said you were getting tired of shopping earlier, right? We might as well head back to the dorm, then.”

The entire cab ride back to their dorm, Taemin didn’t dare bring up his question again.

But Jinki was unbearably quiet, too, so at least the feeling was mutual. The only time he spoke at all was before they went around to the back door of their apartment complex, offering an awkward smile and a stuttered apology.

Taemin only smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay, hyung…I’m sorry for bringing it up. We don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to.”

It wasn’t until they were walking up the stairs that Jinki grabbed his sleeve to slow him down a bit and spoke again.

“About what you asked me earlier,” Jinki began, silencing Taemin’s almost-protest to it with a brisk continuation. “I think love is different for every person. So there probably isn’t one answer to your question. I think…it’s something you’ll have to figure out as you go along.”

(Love, Taemin decided right then and there, was like a battlefield – where victories and losses could be tallied by either party, but it was only when both sides came together that the struggle and sacrifices counted in the end.)

[ to be continued. ]
 
 
Current Music: Jordin Sparks - Battlefield
 
 
 
Kei: when love comes knocking at your doorbyuldeureul on June 27th, 2011 01:11 am (UTC)
Spot for the birthday girl!

Spot for blindteddy
#1 baekhyun h8rminwhore on June 27th, 2011 01:23 am (UTC)
SPOT
#1 baekhyun h8rminwhore on June 27th, 2011 12:07 pm (UTC)
Omo, this is a very thoughtful chapter bb. Some deep thoughts for both Taemin and Onew to consider. ;_; Poor Onew, with his one-sided love. Which reminds me, have you ever heard of that song "Battle" by Colbie Caillat? Because this chapter totally reminded me of it haha;;

I wonder what Onew would have answered that question with...

Well, I wish him luck, anyway. :'(

Great chapter bb. I hope your summer classes are fun, and you aren't working yourself too hard. ^^ Fighting!! <3
Kei: oh why'd you have to be so cutebyuldeureul on June 27th, 2011 05:54 pm (UTC)

It was definitely meant to be a thoughtful chapter :)

Sighhhhhhhh Onew breaks my heart in this ficverse, honestly!! ;;;;;;; And...in a way, my head!canon always pictures him as this awesomely sweet and well-intentioned guy, but he's just so selfless that it always gets him in trouble ;_______; OMG AND /YES/, BBY, I KNOW THAT SONG ;AAAAA; I-I guess it kind of does work well with this chapter, especially considering Onew's situation......

I wonder what Onew would have answered that question with...
THAT, m'dear, is something I'm saving for a spin-off story featuring Onew's POV on life in the SHINee dorm, his intimate connection with the other members (especially JongKey), and how his friendship and eventually relationship with Luna developed. I wrote out the basic skeleton of the fic :) but it's still in the works. When it's ready, though, you'll see how Onew's answer to that question is a LOT deeper and more complicated than Taemin even realizes...

Tomorrow's my first day, so I'll find out then *^^* For the moment, I'm just gearing up for it...and I'll be careful not to push it too hard, bby, don't worry. *^^*

And the same to you, Nicole~ Fighting!! ^^)/♥
a_life_defiant: minhoa_life_defiant on June 27th, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
whut? O_O

*looks around swiftly*

what is all this???

SPOT
Kei: when love comes knocking at your doorbyuldeureul on June 27th, 2011 05:55 pm (UTC)

Hahahaha -- my main brainbaby, unnie!! ;w;)// That's what this is...I've been working on this for what feels like /forever/ hehehehe and now I've finally updated again~

Will wait for and anxiously anticipate your comment, though~ *^^* ♥
a_life_defiant: minhoa_life_defiant on June 28th, 2011 10:45 pm (UTC)
ok, so I read the fic before (prequel fic? IDK how you classify it lol) and now all of this.


OH MY GOD.

Starflower O_O this is sooo fricken good!!! I can't believe I never saw any of this before.

I adore the interactions and the minute, but impactful (not a word idc), gestures that are running throughout.

I can't wait to see more of this awesomeness, bb!

*squishes you lots*

Kei: you beautiful creaturebyuldeureul on June 29th, 2011 03:56 pm (UTC)

You diiiiid? ;www; I-I'm glad it was to your liking, unnie~ /shuffles around you awkwardly

Ahhhhhhh b-but for me "impactful" IS a word!! ;o; And it describes how I wanted all those interactions and gestures to come across, really...subtle yet all at once very, very meaningful? Knowing that you got that feeling makes me happy, really... :))

And you definitely will see more of this in the future, unnie! :DD I've got the basic draft of the next chapters all planned out, so all that's left is to actually write them...I look forward to sharing them here again and seeing you back here again too!

♥\(>v<;;)/♥ *gets squished a lot (lol)*
onestarrydreamonestarrydream on June 27th, 2011 08:09 am (UTC)
I LOVE IT.

I'm a totally new reader but I caught up with everything today and I totally love your writing style! Can't wait for the next chapter! ^^

Onew's soooo cuteeeee <3
Kei: oh why'd you have to be so cutebyuldeureul on June 27th, 2011 05:58 pm (UTC)

I-I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT! ;;;;;;;;

And also -- new readers are always, always welcome on board here, darling! :)) I love replying to comments by readers almost as much as I love reading them hehehehe so I'm glad to hear from you. Thank you and I hope to have the next chapter -- which will feature the debut of ALL the f(x) members in this ficverse and explore a bit more of Taemin's views on love! -- finished and posted very, very soon! ♥

(Onew's always so cute, yesyes...but so very unfortunate :'< Still searching for his happiness and for the love just for him sighhhhh...)
lemonmonglerlemonmongler on June 27th, 2011 08:50 am (UTC)
Poor Jinki. D: That last line was win!
Kei: yongwonhibyuldeureul on June 27th, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)

Poor Jinki, indeed DD:

I'm glad you liked that nice little sum-up of Taemin's views on love, bby ;D More where that came from in the next chapter, too, so look out for it! It should be up once I finish the drafting process~

Thanks again for all the comments and I look forward to seeing you here again very soon~ ♥
artificiallilacartificiallilac on June 29th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
This chapter was so beautifully tragic. ;______; Poor Jinki. I feel bad for him, but at the same times, it's like, it'll help grow as person! I like that you gave him this, like, he was kind of quiet through out the story, so this was nice! :)

And Taemin's curiosity was so genuine and well, adorable.

And although I'm completely against love (because emotions are subjective and subjective things are not valid) but, gosh, you put it so beautifully! Love is about being unsure, I suppose, and well, it differs for each person too, right?

And I totally have to mention the last line! It was so brilliant!

Thanks for sharing!! Can't wait for your next update <3 :D
Kei: if you leave (then baby i'll leave)byuldeureul on June 29th, 2011 05:22 pm (UTC)

I-It was meant to be a change from what we had before in this story, so I-I'm glad you felt that way? ;;;;;

And you're absolutely right about that. Jinki is a really good guy - almost too good, really - but his ingenuity has its drawbacks and this ordeal has kind of made him realize that. He WAS a quiet one throughout, but that's also why I have a sidestory for this ficverse planned :) set in Jinki's POV, so I hope that'll shed some light on how he felt about the events of both these fics as well as on the nature of his feelings about love, life, and being SHINee's leader.

Hahahaha I seem to recall a "20 Facts About..." each member that popped up on Korean fansites around their debut time and I read Taemin's...one of the things on there really struck me as believable - that he had asked his hyung-deul about what "the meaning of love" was! - and I always wanted to include it in a story somehow. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so + have him bond with Jinki, so I made that the basis of the chapter at large :)

I think that love is truly a subjective thing - and even more so if you consider the whole matter of *~feelings~* along with it. Taemin strikes me as the type to reflect on things like that a bit selfishly, only seeing his views on love as the "correct" one (perhaps it's childlike stubbornness meets the typical "boy" attitude about love showing through? hahaha). Jinki, on the other hand, is a lot like your attitude toward love. Or - he doesn't want to believe it in exactly, but he DOES want to believe in the beautiful side of it that shines before him when he looks at Kibum. But for him, it's a love out of reach that he feels he'll never be able to reach, so - unlike Taemin - he subscribes to the belief that "if you love something, let it go; if it's meant to be, then you'll know." So this chapter's last conversation is definitely meant to be a matter of conflicting views on love colliding :) I'm so, so glad you picked up on it, too, bby!

Looking forward to updating very, very soon and seeing you back here again too! *^^* ♥
artificiallilac: julietteartificiallilac on June 30th, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
A side story set in Jinki's POV? I can't wait for that!!! I mean I can, since I have this to read, for now :]

I've read a few facts about SHINee, but I wonder where you read that, I wonder how that conversation started, what happened, and how it ended. I mean, the way you wrote it seems very plausible and realistic so, yeah :D

Your analysis on SHINee and their characteristics is so profound! I mean, you'll write something about their character/personality and I'll be so amazed at how true it sounds, and the way you explain how Jinki and Taemin view love is a great example!

You know, I've honestly never understood that, the whole, "if you love somebody, let them go" thing. I mean, if you love somebody, shouldn't you fight for it? You've got to work hard for the things in life that are worth it, anything easy to achieve is most likely not that great (only momentarily, maybe). I mean--how can you give up someone like that? Because they're happy with someone else? No. YOU should be the one making that one person smile. No one else. It's not even selfish--well it is, but it's human to be selfish. It's not about winning, I mean, you can't win all the time--you just can't lose.

And yay!! Omg, I'll be waiting for your update gorgeous ♥ :)

iwishpeoplelikeyouexistedwhereilivebutnoooo.I'mstuckwith---whatever. Just keep being beautiful won't you? ;]
Kei: i'd spend forever wonderingbyuldeureul on July 1st, 2011 11:13 pm (UTC)

Yes, there will (eventually lol) be a sidestory for Jinki!! :)) But I want to focus on one thing at a time for now and work on this story, writing to the very best of my ability...

I think you can find that sort of thing on Tumblr pretty easily, but hmmmmmmm now you make me want to fish out the full text to share with you! X'( I-I wonder if I could find it for you, though..........

--OKAY, I FOUND IT!! :DD Spent a few minutes searching and it was, thankfully, easily found!! Here's a link to all the member's "20 Facts":
http://imop.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/shinee-fun-facts/
Feel free to look through it and ponder on some of the implications of these interesting little tidbits kekekeke~

I-I'm extremely flattered to hear you say that, bby /////////// Mmmmm but I wonder sometimes just how right-on we can be about these boys? ;;;; I mean, not knowing them as people and only watching them from afar like this...I think we all have our different perceptions/interpretations of their character and always will. BUT it's always made me happy when someone says, just like you have, that what I perceive as very "them" is true to someone else. I think that's the point where friendships are really made and forged in fandom -- so I'm just...really, really glad that you said that ♥

I can't say I do, either, bby ;;;;;; But at the same time, I think I can see why people like Onew might think that way? Mostly it's people like that who find themselves in love with the idea of love and are actually quite scared by the thought of attachment. But there are just as many people who are like Taemin, willing to do anything to make that other person (read: Minho!) happy in any way possible. If that means being selfish, then he'd be perfectly fine with that -- and I think that might be the point where his selfish maknae side comes out hahahaha :)

*^________^* ♥

sobsi-ifitmakesyoufeelanybetter,though,atleastyouandiknoweachothernow?;;;;;; a-and skjinhfps9ao;f I-I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M BEAUTIFUL AT ALL B-But I'll be a good rabbit and listen to you anyway? ;;;;;;;;

Also, instead of calling you "bby" and such all the time, I realize now that I don't think we've properly...introduced ourselves lmao;;;;;; I-I'm Kei and my day occupation is college student...as for my night occupation, that's ofc, a Cassiopeian Shawol kekeke How about you, dearest? :) ♥
artificiallilacartificiallilac on July 2nd, 2011 12:37 am (UTC)
Of course! I understand, I didn't expect you to write both at the same time >.<

AND THANK YOU!! Sobs ;_____; It means so much to me that you bothered to look that up for me and omg, I'm always on Tumblr, why didn't I see it -_____-

Can I just---omg, that is so true. Sometimes, I even think that what if the SHINee members don't even get along eventhoughtheway2minlookandactaroundeachothersaysotherwise because in their world--acting is so big. Like, they've molded themselves to fit and show this perfect image to us---and you know what they say, that once you keep lying to yourself orothers, you begin to start seeing truth in those lies and believing them yourself, whether in actuality their true or not. doesthatmakesense?

I feel like I've been known you. Like I've always known you LOL And yes, totallybeagoodrabitandlistentome ♥

Also, hi Kei ♥ I'm Haddie :) I'm a senior in High School and I work part-time at a Doctors office. I also have no life. My secret life consists of being a Shawol :) I kind of just recently got into Kpop so I'm a noob mostly. Haha. >.< And omg, what are you majoring in? wedidn'tintroduceeachotherbecause--atleastiliketothink--thatyourawesomeandI'mawesomeandwelljustbecause. ♥ ♥ ♥
Kei: wherever you go whatever you dobyuldeureul on July 2nd, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)

Well, it's...possible, but not exactly the easiest thing in the world ahahaha and I know because...I've tried working on more than one multichapter fic at a time!! And...it didn't work very well, to say the very least OTLLL;;;;

You're welcome~~ It was actually good for me, too, because I got to read it again and save it properly hehehe X') Also, YOU HAVE A TUMBLR? I'm starlightsparks on there, so if you want to, feel free to follow me~ ;3

Like, they've molded themselves to fit and show this perfect image to us---and you know what they say, that once you keep lying to yourself or others, you begin to start seeing truth in those lies and believing them yourself, whether in actuality their true or not. doesthatmakesense?
I think this is a train of thought that many Shawols tend to pass by entirely (or just...ignore completely lmao;;), but YESSSSS IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE and I'm *so* glad you get what I mean here, too!! ;w; It's true that they are idols, but I do believe that even past those perfectly crafted image lies a spark of...something that's special and untouchable and completely boy about some of them? And that same optimistic part of me also believes - and feels like it's most evident - in a bond between two people who are going through the same thing together at a fairly young age in the same group...... coughcough2MINcoughcough...

Huhuhuuuyouknowi'lldowhateveryouaskmetoalready,okay...becausewe'remarried~ :3333 ♥

Yayyyy - nice to finally be...'introduced' to you, Haddie? ^o^;; lol awwww now here comes the awkward part where I say that I...honestly assumed you were older than me before this I-I'M SO SORRY OTLLLLLLL;; doesthismakemethetoporthe'hubby'betweenus?lmao;; But ahhh it's cool that you're just starting out with KPop! I've been around KPop fandoms for 2 1/2 years now :) and Shawol fandom for 1 1/2...I haven't regretted a thing, so I hope you'll enjoy your time here like I have to that extent too? *v*) I'm an elementary education major at my uni, but my spare-time passions include singing, writing, and - you guessed it! - KPop fandom. andyesidothinkwe'rebothawesomesothereforeintroductionsonlycamenowkekekeke ;) ♥
artificiallilacartificiallilac on July 8th, 2011 04:38 pm (UTC)
I haven't been home so forgive me for the late reply ;________;

LOL don't worry, I thought I was older too! But it's all good! And don't worry Icantotallybethemaninourrelationshiplmao

I love singing and writing toooo omg, and I'm going to start following you on tumblr as soon as I finish replying here! :) Omgosh. I can't wait till you start writing those spin offs--especially if it's in like, Jonghyun/Kibums point of view LOLOLOL that would be funny >.<
And thank you so much for reading my writing, omg :______: SOBBINGOMG you are too sweet!!

Greenlengreenlen on July 1st, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
A heart-to-heart talk with the leader is always revealing, Jinki seems to always suffer for the sake of the members,it makes me a bit sad but I think that at the same time that's what makes him happy, looking at his members and how happy they are must be a reward for all the hard work and sacrifices he makes, still Jinki ;~; you ought to be happy as well... Luna seems to be the perfect person to make him happy, even if it's just friendship or more.

WAHHHH! another absolutEly beautiful chapter with Maknae and Leader bonding, how more perfect can this story get?! I'm sure I'll be greatly surprise in upcoming chapters -like always- because 2min's relationship will continue to develop and finally becoming a precious love... lol ignore my fantasizing.

Kei: oh why'd you have to be so cutebyuldeureul on July 1st, 2011 11:21 pm (UTC)

It was indeed meant to be everything like a heart-to-heart talk. :)) I had been planning this chapter for a WHILE actually (even back when I was writing "Come One Step Closer To Me"...), so this was really something that had been built up in my head before I wrote it. Part of the reason this update took me so long, though, was because of this chapter...getting out everything I wanted to in words was so DIFFICULT (Jinki's reaction to Taemin's accusations, Taemin's words and thoughts about love...the whole 'feeling' of this chapter in general, even) but it was totally worth it because...after this chapter, I feel like I've succeeded in putting my head!canon views on OnTae into writing :))

Sighhhhhhh and Jinki is such a terribly, terribly sweet boy. ;;;;;;;; I feel a LOT for him in particular because, like you said, he really does sacrifice so much for the sake of other people's happiness. But really, Luna is definitely the best person for the job of giving him a bit of much-needed happiness. She's a really great girl -- I feel this way very strongly about her irl, too, but hahaha maybe I'm just biased ^///^;; -- and her spirit is a lot tougher than Jinki even realizes. Ahhhhh but I'm revealing too much before I write the actual sidestory for Jinki that I'm planning to write after this fic is over......don't want to give it ~all~ away just yet...... n___n;;

There are indeed going to be a few more surprises. Not too soon, but...soon enough. I won't say more than that, though -- I don't want to spoil you about this, either, even if I do love you lots, darling! ^o^;;

Greenlengreenlen on July 5th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC)
Omo that's a long time, you have evrything planned hehehe ^^ well you definitely succeeded in making an amazing chapter, I think your interpretation of them and their reactions is very accurate :333
I'll be waiting for the sidestory as well, you make me love you even more ;*;
I love surprises kekeke I'm more excited now *___*
I'll sit here waiting for the next chapters to come and will cry of happiness when you update again lol donttakemeserious

Radu_know on August 13th, 2011 03:44 pm (UTC)
omg Onew ;_; one-sided love is so heartbreaking :( especially because he sees Key and Jonghyun ALL THE TIME ;____; Poor baby
Kei: when love comes knocking at your doorbyuldeureul on August 13th, 2011 09:56 pm (UTC)

My head!canon has always seen Onew as having, like........the world's biggest crush on Kibum. But my JongKey-loving heart sees it as mostly unrequited sighhhh :((( It really does give him trouble and a lot of heartache, but he's such a sweet boy ♥ He tries not to let himself want more than he feels he deserves, but...

B-BUT, PRETTY MUCH, THAT'S WHY I'M WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER TO BE TOTALLY HAPPY. BECAUSE 2MIN ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL HAPPIER AGAIN ;;;;
colorfulgreycolorfulgrey on August 16th, 2011 02:02 am (UTC)
I'm reading this fic (with the prequel-fic one) a second time now, because this is by far one of the best 2min fanfics I've found on the internet. I simply love your writing style, the characters are IC and the plot is very good, too. The only thing I don't like is the fact that you don't update it. (* ̄m ̄)
But that won't stop my love for this fanfic.
Thanks for your hard work! (*^▽^*)
Kei: somewhere only we knowbyuldeureul on August 17th, 2011 11:16 pm (UTC)

Oh my goodness, a-are you the one who wrote that BEAUTIFUL little piece about 2Min (or more specifically about Taemin?) titled "Cage"? Excuse me while I keysmash and flail a bit at you in gratitude for writing that little slice of perfection in the form of fic ksjfoiua9pf;mksgna;kp you really have a wonderful command of language and imagery!! ;u; I-I still need to leave a comment on thaaaaaat /makes a mental note

You really...really flatter me so much, though, bby ;~~~~~~~~~~; ♥ My biggest concerns when I write fanfic - no matter what the fandom - is whether readers will feel the people I'm writing about are IC. I'm especially particular about my characterization, I think, in my KPop fandoms (not sure why hahaha but I am ^^;;;) and I feel a lot of writers tend to make the idols...errrrr, to say the least, very 1-dimensional??? Thankfully, you are one of those lovely writers who do not have that problem :) and I strive to the very best of my ability to avoid doing that, too. I'm glad you don't feel like it's a problem for me, just as I feel it isn't a problem for you!

A-Ahhhhh and I absolutely agree with you on this fic's 'weak point'......I wish I updated this more, too ㅠ________ㅠ;; I always feel like my inspiration wavers the more I doubt myself, but...I-I'll try not to let myself get too down and work even harder to update this within the week!! ;^;)/ I-I do almost have the next chapter finished, but the ending is........--well, I won't spoil it for you or any of my readers who read the comments hahaha because that would be bad! :c

Thank YOU for being such a darling and commenting here - and I absolutely look forward to seeing you around here again soon!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ♥♥♥
colorfulgreycolorfulgrey on August 17th, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
You don't know how happy you made me right now.
I'm not really sure if you really meant my drabble, because it was titled "After", BUT it was all about Shinee and 2min living in a cage.

Please don't worry about your IC-ness, You had by far the best characterization of all the Shinee members I've ever read and I've read A LOT of fanfics.

Do you mean the ending of the chapter or the ending of the fanfic? Because I really like it when the ending isn't all happy and fluffy and rainbows and unicorn, you know? I like it if it's realistic. If it means that 2min won't be together, then so be it. They are after all living in a pretty homophobic environment.

So please don't worry and believe in yourself. You're an amazing writer and I really look forward to the next chapter! (^w^)

And please excuse my crappy English, but English is not my mother tongue.
Keibyuldeureul on August 18th, 2011 12:16 am (UTC)

Oh no, I defintely meant your drabble. But h-hmmmmmm maybe my fishbowl memory is acting up again orzzzz;;; I'm sorry I didn't get the title right TT^TT;;; What I remembered most strongly of the drabble was their 'caged' position in life, so I think I might have confused myself with that & the title...my apologies m(______)m

I-I'm extremely glad to hear that, then! :') I...used to read a lot more SHINee fic than I do now haha but it's definitely significant to me when someone says that they feel my writing stands out from the others. I make absolutely certain that - when I feel that way - I let the authors know that, too, when their fic does the same for me ♥

Ohhhhh. Y-You really are....such a lovely person ;;;;;;; I don't think I'll be able to stop smiling at what you just said; you really hit the nail on the head there, bb! *^*;;;; I absolutely feel that even fanfic should mirror reality, and the issue of homophobia in South Korea is DEFINITELY a huge factor in 2Min's friendship/borderline relationship in my head!canon :) If anything, I won't say too much on the matter of how this fic will end (as I /do/ have an ending in mind but...well, I prefer keep it a secret for now. For obvious reasons kkkk ^v^), but I hope you know that you're very, VERY much on the mark for the direction this fic is headed in!

Thank you, dear...it really means a lot to me to hear you say that ;______; I-I definitely want to try even harder to finish this chapter now...! Especially since I know there are readers out there who are looking forward to & have been patiently waiting for the next chapter! ^A^)/

Omooooo--and I would NOT have expected that. At all. So you aren't a native English speaker...? I was completely fooled OTL your English was so good that I had no idea!! *______*;; But I guess that's just another wonderful thing about you, darling hahaha ;) ♥
colorfulgreycolorfulgrey on August 18th, 2011 12:42 am (UTC)
(#^.^#)It makes me so happy to hear such praising from my favorite author.

I think you really meant my drabble. It was about Taemin thinking about what would happen after Shinee and if his realtionship with Minho was a result of the fact that they were living in a cage and not being able to date other girls like other boys did.

You don't know how much more excited you make me for this fanfic. I bet that if 2min really won't get together in the end, people start screaming "SEQUEEEL!!!". But I would be just the happiest girl in the world, because it would be so realistic and thus a masterpiece of the 2min fandom.
It doesn't mean that I don't like to read a happy ending for them, I really do, but that's not how live works, especially not in South Korea. (.___.)

Thank you! (^v^) I have a beta-reader, so that's probably a big part of the "secret" as well.
Kei: the stars shining bright overhead (for ubyuldeureul on August 19th, 2011 08:02 pm (UTC)

;u;)!! Y-You calling me your favorite author really...makes me teary-eyed. They're happy tears, though, don't worry TTvTT)b ♥

Yep, that was definitely the one! (^▽^)ノ I loved both the concept of it and the way that you wrote it - and a finely executed piece like that deserves nothing but praise! Its realism AND its style are top-notch~ (*・∀・)♡

Kekekeke but if I make you excited, then...I'm happy. Because that's what I intended to do (*^^*) Truthfully, I expected that kind of reaction after I finished with COSCTM - although I made sure readers knew that there would be a sequel hahaha ;; - because I didn't close up shop on their 'relationship' or anything. Just like that, this fic too is meant to develop in the same way, all the way up to a particular conclusion that will be much, MUCH more finite than the last fic. So by the time I've reached chapter 14 of this fic (that's where I intend to finish this fic by, anyway...could be more, could be less), I promise that you'll have an end to the story that will tie up all the loose ends.

Awwww so the secret is officially out, then? That's perfectly alright, though, bby - there's no shame in having a beta reader! :) If anything, it means you genuinely care about getting your feelings and thoughts across through writing, and that to me is the mark of a great writer, English being your first language or not ♥
fleurettyy on September 12th, 2011 05:13 am (UTC)
i finally found the time to catch up on your fics. forgive me unnie-ah for being so late (:_;) this sequel is beautiful, just like the first. i'm going to comment on each chapter so bear with the long comment okay?

fourteen years old seems so young and i wonder if i ever felt the things taemin did when i was that age. i don't think so, and that's why it shows how mature taemin is for his age. your characterization of jonghyun, jinki and minho is perfect as always. sometimes, i worry that jonghyun really does have a complex about being alone but seeing him smile with the other members makes me feel unworried.

you made me smile to myself when i read the "taemin condition." it's just like minho to come up with a witty remark like that. taemin's jealousy too, is something that i can connect to. the first signs of love might just be the selfish feeling that bubbles up inside you where you don't want to share, however unreasonable that is, your special somebody with anyone else. considering the fact that i like super junior too, minho's "hyung-whore" title reminded me of all those screencaps of him hanging around donghae or kyuhyun. he really does love his hyungs, doesn't he :)

sometimes, it doesn't really matter how close or far apart you are from each other. you can be right next to each other, yet still feel a huge gap between you. you can also, like taemin and minho, be connected with simple texts still feel close despite the distance. and OH JOONGKI, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MATCHMAKER ♥♥

did you happen to know that i love lunew? i was squealing when sunyoung revealed herself, and though it seems a one-sided thing for jinki, i couldn't help myself from grinning while reading this part. but you're a genius at manipulating my feelings, kei-unnie.. (TwT。) i was almost bawling when taemin was thinking to himself, how jinki always tried to make other people happy, even if it meant he would have to sacrifice his own happiness.

taemin's last thought on love completed it all; it's pertinent, a little sad, but very true. that's what makes me love reading your fics. they may be fiction, but what you write about, what the characters go through, applies for anyone and everyone in the world who's been in love before. i can't wait until the next chapter (^-^)
Kei: when love comes knocking at your doorbyuldeureul on September 12th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
1/2 (because this reply was too long for LJ to handle OTL)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh - dongsaeng, pleasepleasePLEASE don't worry about the 'late' reply!!!!! ;A; I'm absolutely glad to see any comments at all from any of my readers, you know (especially considering I'm still so behind on updating this like I want to... /sobs;;), but having you back here after a long absence is even more of a wonderful surprise to me! ;u; ♥ I'm absolutely glad to hear from you in any way, shape, or form - as your comments always ALWAYS leave me with this warm & fuzzy feeling within me (*ノ ̄▽ ̄*)ノ So feel free to spam with long comments!! I love replying to them as much as I love reading them, so that's perfectly fine with me~

It is indeed a very young age to have experienced one's first love. But in that situation, it would make sense that it would take a truly mature 14-year-old to let the feelings come as they may and take whatever the other person has to offer him in the way of friendship. I believe Taemin has a very strong handle on things happening around him in general irl too, so this transfers over a LOT in my characterization. c:

Also, I'm extremely, extremely pleased you caught on with my implications on Jonghyun's characterization there! ...Although considering how astute you are, bby, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. (`w`)/ Jonghyun does indeed have a big complex about being alone, but then again...for the moment, he isn't. Things will develop quite differently in this sequel fic with OnJongKey than you might expect - while I don't want to spoil you more than that hehehe as I do like to keep my readers in suspense, even my most favorite readers >w< ♥ - so look out for more development and exposition on Jonghyun's personality and Key's feelings on the whole matter as well!

The Taemin Condition exists!! ㅋㅋㅋ It's just more visible in the form of whenever he acts a little extra silly/quirky around people *^^* or when he's getting sick every time he goes overseas (lol). Ahhhhhhh and the way you describe the matter of subconscious jealousy is so poetic~ And it's precisely the way I wanted it to be viewed (ノ´∀`*)ノ I get a little bothered by some fanfic writers' portrayal of jealous guys (because irl, most of the time, you don't even notice guys being jealous l m a o because they hide it pretty well and it usually comes off as more of a subtle, childlike possessiveness thing, anyway ;; like in Taemin's case), and I think that's why I wanted to write this chapter as well. Plus hahahaha around the time that was written, I was really taken by Minho's hyung-whoring ways ^^;;;;;; and I thought what better way to work out my thoughts about when/why he does it than through Taemin's eyes? :)
Kei: somewhere only we knowbyuldeureul on September 12th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
2/3 (because apparently this comment was STILL too long for LJ OTLLLLLL)

It's funny you should mention that, bby ^^ as it reminded me as one of the things that I love about the 2Min ship is how absolutely inseparable these two are as a whole through evidence in fancams/fanaccounts. Even when one wanders away from the other, it seems like nothing really holds them apart forever; like magnets drawn by an irrevocably powerful force, they always come back together towards the end of it all (a particular SMTown Tokyo fancam comes to mind quite readily *w* highlighting how, after Taemin and Minho were done wandering around the Tokyo Dome stage to mingle with others - with the older being a bit more overt about it than the younger one - the two of them came right back center stage to mess around and carry Taemin on piggyback and run about together to wave to each side of the stage extension area ♥). I love that most about them, because it really shows that they WANT to be close to one another, not just because they have to by obligation :) SOBS AND I ABSOLUTELY ///ADORE/// JOONGKI AND MINHO'S HYUNG/DONGSAENG RELATIONSHIP AND WANTED TO HIGHLIGHT IN A FIC SINCE *FOREVER*, SO THIS SEEMED LIKE THE PERFECT WAY TO INTEGRATE IT HEHEHEHEHE I LOVE THEM BOTH AND I LOVE HOW FUN WRITING MATCHMAKER!JOONGKI WAS ( ^ _ ^)∠☆

omg youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (;w;)/ I-I honestly had no idea you loved Lunew too, bby, but I LOVE LUNEW IN HUGE AMOUNTS s-so, for me, this was the best way I could combine future f(x)SHINee interaction with my favorite crossover ship in KPop thus far (*・∀・)/ For me, there's something about Sunyoung that brings a smile to my face (she's adorable, she sings well...and she's about as sunshine-y and merry as a Christmas tree in personified form lmao I guess you could even say she's my ideal type of girl orzzzz;;;;) But ohhhh bby.... I'm sorry for that...!(。TT^TT。) I-I meant to pull at the heartstrings of my readers in writing this fourth chapter - especially those who WERE deeply invested in the JongKey ship developed in this story so far - but I wanted readers to realize that there is always that other side to love: someone who might be in love with the same person, someone who might be longing for love but cares too much for others to act on those feelings, and someone like Jinki, who 0 unlike Jonghyun, who has a complex about being alone - has something of a martyrdom complex that's hard for him to shake in the face of his "leader" role in the group. (And if you've ever heard me describe my characterization of Yunho as a person - which I do believe I've mentioned to you before? Then again, I tell so many people this lol because it's such a strong belief that I might be mistaken here...sorry if I'm assuming things that aren't the case ;;;;; - I constantly stress that he too is a martyr type who would do the same thing in love and life like Jinki would. Which is why the YunJae ship haunts me so much sob because I can so easily see him doing for Jaejoong what Jinki would do for Kibum if it would make the other happy......let him go quietly even if it breaks his heart ;_______;)
Kei: i've got a good mind to throw it all awabyuldeureul on September 12th, 2011 12:40 pm (UTC)
3/3 (FINALLY GOT ALL OF THIS COMMENT OUT OTLLLLLLLLL)

Indeed, Taemin's words speak volumes for my own philosophy on love......is that a bad thing, I wonder? Or is it a sign that I see a lot in Taemin that I feel is reflected in my younger self and within me even now? ;^; I-In any event, I too feel strongly about those words I wrote into the dialogue of this chapter - because they are pertinent and they are bittersweet...but they are also very TRUE for many people who love and lose and can't let the other person go. I...don't like to spoil readers, (cries s-says the writer who keeps spoiling her dongsaeng with hints as to where this story is going orzz;;), but I will say this about Jinki's one-sided love for Kibum, Kibum's relationship with Jonghyun, and the way Sunyoung fits into it all: all parties are invested in someone in this love square, but all of them will get what they truly deserve in the end. --As for what that means, I'm going to keep that much a S E C R E T (^_-)☆ at least until the next few chapters that will be updated soon, anyway~~~~

I look forward to seeing you here for the next update as well, dongsaeng, and thank you so much for the long and lovely comment!! You have my utmost gratitude and respect, as always m(_ _)m ♥♥♥♥♥
fleurettyy on September 14th, 2011 08:18 am (UTC)
ahhhh but unnie, I know you’re busy so don’t feel sorry for updating late! each chapter you share is always well-thought and written so i’m sure all of the readers are willing to wait for each precious update. you know i always love to hear from you too? whether it’s on livejournal or on twitter, you always manage to make me feel better when i'm down and i’m so glad to have such a wonderful unnie like you (makes me want one in real life ´へ`;)

i’ll make sure i look at jonghyun and key veery carefully in the following chapters, considering those two made my favorite shinee pairing until i stumbled along your fics.. now i'm not sure whether i like 2min or jongkey more. let's just say i love shinee altogether (゚ω゚)

AAAAHH. THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE POETIC BUT IDK, IT KIND OF JUST CAME OUT NATURALLY. sometimes i really want to step into a guy's shoes once and see what it feels like from their perspective. i wonder if it feels any different..

in any group, there’s always those two people that you can't really make out a borderline between pure fanservice or just close brotherhood. especially those caught on fancams, minho and taemin for example - you can just tell that they really care about each other. now that you mentioned that, I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THEIR CONCERT. BAWLS. (still regretting that I didn’t go to a dbsk concert when they were still five ;д;)

onew and luna together are just like a bundle of happiness and warmth (they would make a great appa and umma keke). both of their smiles are just so contagious! and best of all, they’re not afraid to be dorks. i think you’re very much like luna though! you always bring smiles to people’s faces and aren’t afraid to say your feelings. (your voice is really pretty too by the way..)

that other side of love is really painful sometimes (TдT) it’s always that difficult balance between the chance that the person you love might think the same of you as well, or is already someone else's. but i still want to believe falling in love is a wonderful thing, even though the risks sometimes get unbearable. THIS MARTYRDOM COMPLEX. i don't think you've mentioned it to me before but it's exactly the word i've been trying to find to describe all these hard-working leaders. they all just sacrifice so much for the rest of the members that i want to tell them it's okay to be selfish sometimes. every time i stumble upon a yunjae pic or gif on my dashboard, i start getting all teary-eyed (・・、) WHICH SUDDENLY REMINDS ME OF JAEJOONG’S MESSAGE DURING THE MAMA AWARDS. GOES CRYING IN CORNER.

i think i've heard somewhere before that writing is a sort of purging, and what we can’t express through spoken words, we write down on paper (or in this case, the convenient internet lol) so it could be both. the ups and downs of love never end until the day we die (sometimes even beyond that because hopefully, we’ll still be loved and cherished after our deaths) BUUUUUT i'm sorry for bringing up such a dark topic so to change the topic: THE SPOILERS. i love spoilers so don’t mind it at all! it just makes me put good use to my imagination and you always give me pleasant (or sometimes bitterly heart wrenching, depending) surprises anyways.

with lots and lots of love in return, your dongsaeng ♥♥♥
Kei: & i crave the very ground i'm slave tobyuldeureul on September 18th, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
1/2 (since apparently this comment too was a touch too long ・_・)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh b-but even so, I really am sorry each and every time I come back here to update ;_____________; and the date of the last update is, like...........months ago OTLLLLLL it makes me feel so bad, honestly ;;;;;;;;; I-I guess I do mull over things too much and my productivity as a writer goes down because I overthink so much? (´・`;;) uuuuuuu but you know the same applies to me, Yumi-bby ♥ σ(゚ー^*) and if you ever feel like you want to call me your big sister for real - well, I wouldn't mind that at all (^ω^) since I'm already used to being an older sister to a lot of my tlist/flist...it makes me happy to be able to offer you support and give you something to smile about, really >v<

Kekekekeke darling, your bias is showing (*^O^*) --Just kidding!! Hahahaha I can definitely relate to what you're saying, though; I think for fans like us, there's just too much about all of them to love for us to resist their individual charms, right? :) And in the case of pairings, even more so hehehehe

W-WELL YOU STILL MANAGED TO IMPRESS ME WITH YOUR UNINTENDED POETIC SELF, OKAY ;;;;;;;;; huhuhuuu I think about this sometimes, too!! (;O;)/ Though I imagine if we could do that but we still retained our own feelings/hearts, then we wouldn't quite be the stereotypical "male" then, would we...?

I cry. Y-You're so right, though - that moment seemed so cute, honestly...though I say that about every 2Min moment, really... (T▽T;;)ノ ALSO, WHAT YOU SAID HERE IS SO /TRUE/: 'in any group, there’s always those two people that you can't really make out a borderline between pure fanservice or just close brotherhood.' <-- but unfortunately, my immediate thought went to YunJae when I read these words and now that I think about how often I think about how YunJae and 2Min remind me of each other and -- OKAY, I'D BETTER NOT GET ON THIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT LEST I START TO THINK ABOUT HOW 2MIN WOULD HANDLE ACTUAL SEPARATION LIKE THAT SOBS. AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW I WISH I COULD TOO. BUT EVEN MORESO WITH DBSK AS 5, RIGHT??? THE FEELING OF REGRET IS, LIKE........TENFOLD THEN 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。 /rolls away/

Lunew is the forever sunshine-y Milk Couple! ;w; (ohgod, the image. I giggled so hard ヾ(〃^∇^)ノ umma and appa!!) orzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and your compliments just...keep me blushing and rolling all over the place, bby; y-you're really too much OTLLL ////////;;; (omo-- and you've listened to my voicepost/singing voice before, then? ;wwwwww; t-thank you, bby!!!! Now you make me wonder what kind of singing voice you're hiding, complimenting me in turn like that kekekekeke *・∀・/)
Keibyuldeureul on September 18th, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
2/2 (finally all posted~ sorry this reply took me so long, dongsaeng ;;;;)

Love is....................such a funny thing. And imagining it in the context of, say, the whole world of idols and how leadership plays into it for those idols, I can't help but think of the martyrdom complex for some reason. Ohhhhhhhhhh and so I haven't mentioned this to you before?? Then maybe it was good I did now =w= since I was able to give you the word you were looking for now~ (/ー ̄)/ huuhuuhu if I'm not getting teary-eyed thinking of YunJae, I'm going over the myriad of possibilities that go with their situation and how their relationship was/is/could have been. OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS, BBY, THAT MESSAGE. I CRY. I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT WITHOUT TEARING UP HONESTLY LKSDJLKFAJLD.O;/FNAJ/L; /runs to the corner with you and cries with you/

Ahhhhhhhhhhh but there's no need to apologize or change the topic, dearest darlingest Yumi (・ ̄∀ ̄・) I think that not only what you say is true but the implications behind it also apply to anyone on this earth, not just writers. We all feel the need to get our feelings out as human beings, I believe, and the process of getting those thoughts/feelings/emotions out any way we can...it often leaves a mark on other people that we might not even be aware of. Maybe that alone could plant the seed of love in someone's heart, and that person will never forget them - even after death. Kekekekeke and I thought you might be interested in *~THE SPOILERS~* and so I gave you a small preview of where the story will be going in that =w =)/ Imagine away & please anticipate the inevitable ending of the LunOnJongKey love square (of sorts?) by the story's end~

Yayyyyyyyyyyyy love is wonderful~~! Love from my dongsaeng even so hehehehehe unnie loves you lots & lots right back, Yumi!
♥♥♥ ♪♪(*´∀`*人*´∀`*)♪♪ ♥♥♥
fleurettyy on September 21st, 2011 02:18 pm (UTC)
months ago isn't all that bad..... i think i have some fics i haven't touched for years (ノ゚⊿゚)ノ and overthinking isn't always a bad thing so just write at the pace that's best for you (^∇^) awwwwww i'm proud to have an elder sister like you. i'm not sure how to say this phrase in english so i'll just say it in my mother tongue: これからもお世話になりますww

it's always the same for every group i've fallen for.. it starts with one particular individual but then you eventually grow to love each person's charm, and the end result is that you end up incapable of recognizing your bias (at least, that's the case for me ;;;)

ahhhhh true.... i guess these things will always remain a mystery. but then again, i still haven't been through much romance experience to tell( ̄△ ̄;)

OH YUNJAE - YOU'VE MADE ME GO DOWN THIS ROAD WITH YOU NOWWWWWW /tries to stop train of thought (;△;) they were my first kpop ship so you could probably imagine how heartbroken i felt when dbsk split. the harsh reality tells me that these groups i love and support probably won't be "forever" but....... to me, "forever" doesn't mean that they have to be together always. "forever" for me, means the everlasting memories, the hardships, the accomplishments, and the bonds these groups have given me. i guess that's how i sort of mended my broken heart once the shock of the separation lessened.....

if i'm too much, you can always tell me to stop.... BUT I DON'T THINK I'LL LISTEN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH ♥ (i still remember your voice because at that time, i was struggling with exams and school work so your voice post was a really priceless surprise; it made me all calm and happy inside that i managed to make it through that week in one piece. ohhhhh i'm a very quiet person in real life so i don't think any of my rl friends could imagine me talking this much on livejournal/twitter/whatnot... and i'm always mistaken for a guy when i pick up the phone/video chat... i guess my voice must be very low OTLLLLL)

/passes you tissues and a cup of hot chocolate (:_;)

i'll be waiting with speculations in my mind (so much that they might come out in my dreams.. not that i'm complaining or anything ‐^▽^‐) so please take your time unnie in delivering the next chapter - which i know will be just as good, or even better, than this one.
yon_hye: pic#120493963yon_hye on December 10th, 2013 03:39 am (UTC)
jkfdrk this is the last chapter? There is nothing more? Really....WHYYYYY????
ms_way16: pic#123505929ms_way16 on July 12th, 2014 10:51 am (UTC)
:( *pouts why no more update????
*feeling dishearted